Free Benjamin McKenzie

In honor of this little rumor from Ausiello...

Ausiello: "A major O.C. player — someone you have come to know and love — will hover near death in the finale. Doesn't feel good, does it?"

...Here's hoping that Ryan finally dies, so that Benjamin McKenzie can actually take jobs that require skill. Like his role in Junebug. I haven't watched the OC in a million years, but I'm sure his talent is still getting wasted, like Taylor Townsend's.

When a minor league player is performing extremely well and deserves to be called up, but another player on the major league affiliate is blocking him, the common thing heard is, "FREE ____ ____."

So in honor of minor league baseball, and the baseball season in general.

FREE BENJAMIN MCKENZIE

Another Top 5

I hesitate to create lists. I haven't been as active as a moviegoer as I would've liked to been this year. So off this list is Syriana, Capote, Brokeback Mountain, 9 Lives, along with a multitude of others.

I hesitate to do this because I don't want to put myself in the class of the uninformed, like the people at WWTD or Gorilla Mask. Their general knowledge of pop culture and movies are sad. Considering that their sites revolve around pop culture this is an unforgivable sin. Regardless, they do have a good eye for web gems and nudie pics...

Anyway, I present a flawed 2005 best of movies list.

1. The Squid and the Whale
I have been debating with myself whether I should have this number one, knowing that the list-making challenged Stephen King also did so for EW. But what can I say? It's great. Lou Reed's "Street Hassle" (which ends the film), is one of the most perfect/best songs to end a movie in a while.

2. Match Point
Woody Allen is one of my favorite American directors. And I have held back from watching his most recent movies: The critically shitted on (Anything else, Hollywood Ending, etc...). This movie is beautiful, plus Scarjo gets her shirt torn off and has a wet t-shirt scene...

2a. King Kong
A beautiful opening montage is the best thing of the first 30 minutes. But the next two and a half hours will go down in cinematic history.

3. Junebug
Benjamin McKenzie shows how much of his talent is being wasted on the OC.

4. The 40 Year Old Virgin
Steve Carrell should be nominated. Seriously.

5. Munich
Spielberg is still a god.

Links: I feel like Zach Galifianakis is finally gonna blow up to Dane Cook status soon. The shit he does in Fiona Apple's new video is hilarious ("Not About Love"). I just hope if and when he does get big, America (namely college kids) don't go all Dane crazy. It's ok to be a fan and go wild, but just don't pretend you discovered him (or invented comedy for that matter). If you never watched "Late World with Zach" on Vh1 (or on Boston Common for that matter, then you are coming in pretty late.

Same thing with Mitch Hedberg (may he rest in peace). I first saw him in like 1995-7 on TV. Way before most people. But I don't try to pretend i'm his biggest fan.

In other news: Love Monkey is the best show ever.

Another Top Five

I hesitate to create a list. I haven't been as active as a moviegoer as I would've liked to been this year. So off this list is Syriana, Match Point, Brokeback Mountain, 9 Lives, along with a multitude of others.

I hesitate to do this because I don't want to put myself in the class of the uninformed, like the people at WWTD or Gorilla Mask. Their general knowledge of pop culture and movies are horrible. Considering that their sites revolve around pop culture this is an unforgivable sin. Regardless, they do have a good eye for web gems and nudie pics...

Anyway, I present a flawed 2005 best of movies list.

1. The Squid and the Whale
I have been debating with myself whether I should have this number one, knowing that the list-making challenged Stephen King also did so for EW. But what can I say? It's great. Lou Reed's "Street Hassle" (which ends the film), is one of the most perfect/best songs to end a movie in a while.

2. King Kong
A beautiful opening montage is the best thing of the first 30 minutes. But the next two and a half hours will go down in cinematic history.

3. Junebug
Benjamin McKenzie shows how much of his talent is being wasted on the OC.

4. The 40 Year Old Virgin
Steve Carrell should be nominated. Seriously.

5. Munich
Spielberg is still a god.

I like the way the French think:

I take issue with www.WWTDD.com a lot. Apparently Ali G doesn't make him laugh?!? But the site continually comes through with good media. And as long as that happens I will at least respect it. For now.

Sometimes I wish I was French. They seem to churn out skinny blondes with big tits like they were Café Lattés. Plus said blondes never have a problem with baring it all on the big screen. That's hot.

Anyway,

Fleur Delacour is naked.

And going along with the French theme, the hot chick from Swimming Pool. Ludivine Sagnier.

"Oh, no, that’s not her kind of thing. I mean, if it maintains any of the complex eroticism of the French original. I like the way they think."
-George Michael Bluth

It's that time again. When I stop making posts and demand gifts in return.

I churned it out a little early this year because I figured I should get it out before Thanksgiving (when a lot of X-mas shopping is done). It's a pretty good list this year, though, I haven't added killing Josh Hartnett to this one (it was killing Jared Leto this year). I feel I have grown a little.

I have given up on getting Alias. Which may be a good thing...The series is ending soon and I am gonna hope for a boxed set of all the seasons.

The gift ideas are broken up into sections, and indvidually ranked within the section. One being the best and so forth.

Anyway, Prison Break is coming on soon so here it is:

DVD on TV:
1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection
2) Sports Night - The Complete Series
3) Arrested Development Season 2
4) Newsradio - Seasons 1 and 2
5) Da Ali G Show Season 2
6) Aqua Teen Hunger Force Volume 3 or 4
7) Garfield and Friends, Volume 1

Movies on DVD:
1) Grand Illusion – Criterion Collection
2) 8 1/2 - Criterion Collection
3) Wedding Crashers - Uncorked Edition (for my b-day, cuz of the release date)
4) La Dolce Vita (2-Disc Collector's Edition)
5) The 40-Year-Old Virgin (Unrated Edition)
6) Groundhog Day Special Edition
7) Dr. Strangelove (40th Anniversary Two-Disc Special Edition)
8) Chasing Amy – Criterion Collection

Gamecube games:
1) Ultimate Spider-Man
2) The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

CDs:
1) Elliot Smith - From a Basement on the Hill
2) Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have it so Much Better
3) The Rolling Stones - Forty Licks
4) Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine

Practical:
1) Money
2) Color or B&W cartridges for a HP Deskjet 3740
3) Break Josh Hartnett's knees

Best Gift Ever:
0) Lunch with Kristen Bell

And mom, you don't owe me nothing.

Updated: 11/18

When the Pawn...

Continuing with the top five retrospective it's my turn to be reviewed and scrutinized. I'll admit in my yesteryears I was a little naive but I think my 2000 list shows a pretty high level of maturity.

If there is one theme I would point my three readers too, it would be the influence of TV and movies in my life. Back then I was digging Lord of the Rings, Alias, and Buffy (I still dig them now, but it started then). One could surmise constant viewing ingrained these beauties in my mind. I would beg to differ and just say these women on my list, then and now, are just plain gorgeous.

On to my lists:

My top five list then:
1. Eliza Dushku
2. Anna Kournikova
3. Jennifer Garner
4. Gwyneth Paltrow
5. Cate Blanchett

My top five list now:
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Kristen Bell
3. Jennifer Garner
4. Jennifer Connelly
5. Gwyneth Paltrow

For purposes of not wanting to interview myself, the questions were asked by Nick from Hokie Stories. He is a veritable Joan Chen.

HP: First off, I'd like to thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to speak with me tonight.
Mikey: I had to cancel dinner with Bronson Pichot. I can't pass up an interview with the legendary Hokie.
HP: Thank you. I have to say, your new list seems to have been completely renovated with the exception of Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Garner. What happened?
Mikey: I think there was a huge paradigm shift between 2000 and 2005. Like you my values changed, as did my taste. Anna Kournikova was a horrible mistake. I mean she is still hot, but I think I was too caught up in the fashion of liking her. If I had to pinpoint one major change in what I look for it's personality. Which is why classy ladies like Gwynny and Jenny stayed, to round out this cast of great women.
HP: While on the topic of Gwyneth. How jealous are you of Chris Martin right now?
Mikey: At the risk of sounding gay, I am jealous of Gwyneth.
HP: (Laughs) I see you have a relatively unknown at your number one spot. Where did you discover this classy lady?
Mikey: Well I can't say she is unknown now, but certainly I feel I got into her before it became fashionable to dig her mojo. I first laid eyes on her in The Horse Whisperper, but she was young and I was young, so I thought nothing of it. But the first time I saw Lost in Translation I was hooked on what she was selling. Her body isn't flawless, though she is very voluptuous, and I dig that. Her voice is one of a kind. I guess you could say she's my Rachel McAdams.
(Mikey takes a shit break)
HP: How was it?
Mikey: A two flusher.
HP: Sick…I see we have one chick in common in our top 5, that being Jennifer Connelly. What is your attraction to her and when since 2000 did she qualify as being in your top 5?
Mikey: Let's see, when did A Beautiful Mind come out? 2001? Whenever that was would be it. I can say this without any hesitation; she has the best body of all on my list. She is the one on my list with the biggest breasts, most beautiful hair, and most years. I guess it says a lot about one and two then that she is number three.
HP: I'm sure it does. Kristen Bell seemed to have shot up high on your list. She seems like the kind of girl you could bring home and meet the parents in that picture, but I have to say that it is kind of sad she would cover her rack.
Mikey: I think you hit the nail on the head there sir. She seems to be a meat and potatoes kinda girl. But without the potatoes because I don't like them. But don't get me wrong, she is sexy as hell. And if you ever look her up, there are some pictures of her just scrappin and yellin'. This chick will be a staple on my list for years to come. My word is as strong as oak.
HP: Speaking of years to come, I see Gwynny has stepped down a spot. Is it possible that her run in your top 5 may come to an end in 2010?
Mikey: I'd say it's entirely possible. To tell you the truth I had a hard time picking a number five at all.
HP: Please elaborate.
Mikey: Well, let's be honest we live in the golden age of hot women. It was really a four horse race for the 5th spot. It was gonna be either the incumbent, Kate Bosworth, Evangeline Lilly, or Rachel Nichols. They all have nice qualities. I was ready to put Nichols on actually. But I figured you know the fact that I'm considering Gwynny is huge, because we have learned already that being on the 2000 list and 2005 list is a huge accomplishment. I'd figure I'd recognize her staying power, and give her one last hoorah (if it in fact is). O ya, she is hot as hell.
HP: In total agreement with you there, but how do you perceive Garner doing in 2010? She's made the list twice and is still at number 3. Can we expect to see her on your list down the road?
Mikey: At the moment I don't see her losing any ground. I have to remind myself this is a list of hotties and I can't factor availability into it (damn you affleck). I love watching this babe on late nite talk shows. She seems like the ultimate wife. She digs baseball cuz Ben is into it, she's a homebody, and she is in one of my favorite TV shows (a lot like Bell). I think it would have to take something big to move her. The way I see it, she has already thrown the anchor down.
HP: I like the cut of your jib. Sadly, my time with you is up. I hope to be interviewing you again in another 5 years time.
Mikey: No doubt. It's been a pleasure. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

I'd like to make one quick parting comment about Eliza Dushku since it didn't come up in the interview. I used to wake up everyday before High School and watch a Buffy episode on FX. For some reason FX was always showing seasons where Faith was on. Eliza, even though you may not be on my list now, you are an unbelievable beauty.

Why do my thoughts loom so large on me?
They seem to stay, for day after day
And won't disappear, I've tried every way

But she smiled sweetly
She smiled sweetly
She smiled sweetly
And says don't worry
Oh, no no no
-She Smiled Sweetly, The Rolling Stones

~fin

Gonna go back in time

When I was a sophmore in High School in 2000, me and my buddies came up with our top five babes (kinda in honor of the great flick High Fidelity). Our interest kinda snowballed and the top five became a pretty cheesy site, but we all dug it. The "we" in question is Nick from HP, KG from the guy boning your sister, and me Mikey.

On the fifth anniversary we take a look back.

Consider this nostalgia if you want, but actually it's a pretty sweet case study. You can see how each one of us has changed by comparing the lists. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

We will start with Nick:

His top five list then:
1. Jessica Simpson
2. Kathleen Robertson
3. Shannon Elizabeth
4. Rebecca Romijn (was Stamos then)
5. Michelle Rodriguez

His top five list now:
1. Rachel McAdams
2. Jesssica Simpson
3. Jennifer Connelly
4. Elisha Cuthbert
5. Jessica Boehrs

The list maker has a chance to defend himself and shed light on the changes. For these purposes dialogue was opened up with Nick. I took the liberty of asking him the questions, as he will for me when we go over my top five (past and present)...

TWS: First let me say, I dig the list.
Nick: I appreciate it. It took me a long time to figure out, but it all seemed to work out.
TWS: True ‘nuff. Before I get to the huge news of a new number one, let's talk about the three other new faces. What do you think brought about this huge makeover to your previous list?
Nick: I believe it is all about growth. If you remember, I had made that list back in 2000. My taste in women has grown very mature since then. I actually look back and laugh at some of my picks. Michelle Rodriguez? What was I thinking? This new list are the girls who just drop my jaw, and have the qualities I like (face, attitude, hair, and well let's face it, rack). I believe the newcomers, namely Jennifer Connelly, Elisha Cuthbert and Jessica Boehrs are great additions who support my taste.
TWS: It's funny you bring up rack. That seems to be the one factor that still remains. It was prevalent in 2000 w/ Shannon Elizabeth, Jessica Simpson, and Kathleen Robertson, all boasting probably D-cups...I take it that taste never goes away?
Nick: Boobs.
TWS: True. Jessica Simpson has the honor of being the only hottie back in 2005. But she lost her top spot to an actress...who can actually act! Not to mention Rachel McAdams boobs probably don't surpass a B-cup. You're obviously digging her intangibles. What are they?
Nick: Aura. I don't know how to put it any other way. She just beams beautiful to me. I totally digged her in Mean Girls (where I was first introduced to her) and then she stole my heart in Wedding Crashers. Finding out she was almost 30 was a real downer to me, but then I realized, "Jesus, I'm in my 20's now" so I guess it wasn't so bad after all. We're getting old man...
TWS: Yes we are, which brings me to another point. There is a strong contingent of youth: Cuthbert, Boehrs, Simpson. Play odds maker, what are the chances one of them takes over the top spot in 5 years?
Nick: Honestly, there is a great chance that one can take over. Five years is a long time and some of these girls still have potential, even on top of what I see in them already. But you can never count out newcomers. Just as shown this year, newcomers could run the show; which makes these exciting.
TWS: Ok, I don't like to dwell in the past, but I have to bring it up. Do you still got love for the Scary Movie girls Robertson and Elizabeth?
Nick: It is hard to say you know? They are rarely seen these days. I did however see Shannon Elizabeth at the Main Event recently, but I didn’t seem to be as attracted to her as I was back in the day. As for Kathleen Robertson, I haven't seen her since Scary Movie 2. I feel my list of women back then were too spur of the moment, it was mainly comprised of who "tickled my fancy" at the time.
TWS: And this list will hold up better u think?
Nick: I feel it will, mainly because I have had 5 years to think about who struck me as Top 5 material. These girls are going to be hard to top!
TWS: Ok Hokie, two more questions.
Nick: Let's do this.
TWS: If I ran into Jessica Simpson on the street, and was able to talk without babbling, what would I tell her she would have to do regain her top spot? Or can she? (I am hoping the phrase nude pictorial comes up)
Nick: (Laughs) That would certainly boost her up a few points! One of the most notable things she has done within the past 5 years for me was the Dukes of Hazzard music video. Now you can't tell me you don't get a boner every time you watch that video. F*** the movie, you get to see her for free on Launch whenever you damn well please! As for regaining her top spot, it is possible, but she has stiff competition that is Rachel McAdams, who actually DID get nude in a movie. And by stiff, yes I do mean my cock.
TWS: I knew you did…Ok last one. Looks and rank aside, who on your list is hands down the best fuck?
Nick: Wow... you have me in quite a pickle here don't you Mikey. I COULD go with Jennifer Connelly, who although being the oldest in the list, has the most experience and can probably do some crazy unheard of maneuvers; that would be hot. Or I could go with Jessica Simpson, whose body is so tight and curvy. She strikes me as a whiner in bed, and I can definitely dig that. But there is also Elisha Cuthbert who would look hot giving head. Can I say "head"? F*** it, I said it. But if I had to choose just one...I would go with Jessica Simpson.
TWS: You obviously know your shit. I gotta go call Mama's donuts...How about we revisit your list in 2010?
Nick: Sounds like a plan. Until then...

~fin